2017 is a new beginning


I’ve been off the grid for a few days between Christmas and New Years creating and preparing to embrace 2017.  I like to pick a word at the beginning of the year to set the tone for my goal setting.  It keeps me somewhat focused as I head into the bliss of a new year.  The new year always feels like a new beginning, a fresh start.  I like to think of placing all my past years ugliness in a suitcase and setting it out for the man in brown to pick up and take to the land of  let it go.  That baggage is gone, thank you my wonderful man in brown!

My word for 2016 was Vulnerability.  I pretty much killed it with that word. When I stepped into the Montana Artrepreneur Program I placed myself in a very vulnerable position.  I knew going into 2016 I would be facing a ton of fears with my art journey.  I’m sure that is why I picked the word vulnerability.  Many times it felt like I stepped off the edge of a diving board into the deep end of the pool.  Coming close to drowning, only to be pulled up and resuscitated by my support team.  They do good CPR apparently because I needed  their support often in 2016.  Towards the end of the year I finally realized that all that time my fear was knocking hard on me, pushing me again and again.  That is what vulnerability is about, facing your fears.  I struggled endlessly, turmoil in the depth of my soul, until finally I admitted to my peers that I was struggling.  At one point I felt I no longer wanted to be an artist.  It wasn’t until in November that I told my sister I wasn’t sure I wanted to create.  The stress of it all was becoming unbearable at times.  She said she could not imagine me ever not painting.  Imagine, imagine, again, imagine… I had to chew on fear and spit it out.  Damn, she is such a great sister to love me that much.  I needed straight forward talk and she is good at that with me.  She said a few other personal words I want to keep for myself cause I just love her that much too.  There will always be struggles but my heart tells me I’m over most of the fear.  To get to this point I needed to be vulnerable, to face my fears, to begin to heal I had to hurt first.  It’s a different hurt than a physical injury, sometimes that might be easier.  I have the MAP, all my family, all my artist friends and all my personal friends to thank for helping me pack up my baggage this year and send it off to the land of letting go.  You are amazing, you know who you are, bless you.

This years word is Discovery.  I am so excited about this years word.  Can you “imagine” what I will do with that word!  My new Zebra painting with paper collage, a new discovery already.  Happiness to each of you as you enter a new year and embrace what your world will seek.  I pray for our world and the whole of humanity.  I still seek peace and harmony.  I always have hope and share kindness when I am able.  So much of what we have to give is free so please give as often as you can…blessings in 2017.

Stop and smell the roses

As often as possible, I squeeze in some quiet time in the morning with my coffee in my garden.  Living in a townhouse, my garden area is small.  I’d wished so many times to have my large garden space back from previous homes, missing the feel of dirt, weeding and fragrance from my flowers.  Over time I’ve learned gratitude for this small garden space I now am in charge of caring for.  This mornings coffee in the garden was different.  I took these photos with my phone and then checked my e-mails.  I usually don’t do that as it seems to disrupt my quiet morning ritual but today it may have been what I needed.

I tuned into my e-mails and came across a TED talk with Brene Brown.  A few years back my daughter encouraged me to take Brene’s e-course on The Gifts of Imperfection.  Best gift we ever gave ourselves, thank you daughter!! 

Listening to her talk was like having a little pep talk about life!  I just love her…she is so amazing.  She spoke about vulnerability and how allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable brings rewards to our lives.  It brings perspective gratitude, that was my thought this morning.  Having turned off the news and spent time in my garden this morning, feeling gratitude for this quiet time, this small garden that gives so much….I am thankful. 

My art journey has given me plenty of opportunities to be vulnerable.  I’ve realized this path is where I need to be at this point in my life.  Having numbed myself to so many shameful events in my earlier life, being vulnerable has not been easy.  But, as Brene Brown states, “I am enough”.  I really needed that reminder today as I sat in my garden, coffee and gratitude make a great combination.  I rubbed the leaves of the herbs in my little basket, their scent very refreshing.  It was a small part of this day but a necessary moment for me.  Take time to smell the roses or in my case, the herbs!!IMG_0771 IMG_0775